Trellis House shut down by zoning board

The news is official: The Trellis residential program has been shut down by the Norristown zoning department effective this Friday.  While one may argue about the application of the judgment (we have 3 days to move all tenants and housemates out!), I feel it to be a righteous decision.  And also inevitable – I lead a very public life, for better or for worse (the Trellis website has been up for some time, I may even ask the code inspector for feedback on my narcissistic ramblings, haha).  So from Friday, Rebekah and I and the children will be returning to the lifestyle of your average happy, healthy, normal American family .

The outpouring of love and support from our community has been overwhelming.  Our feelings in this situation are, of course, complex.

First and foremost: we want our response to be indicative of the values by which we live: finding people right wherever they are; the importance of friendship and community; and the ability to enjoy ourselves in every situation.  We have no animosity toward the zoning department, or even to the unidentified neighbor who called in the complaint; and we are having a major moving party over the next two days, and have asked for help from the community.

Secondly: it is easy to go into fear (even terror – how are Rebekah and I going to support ourselves?), anger, sadness (is this the end of our dream?), etc, and it is important to feel these feelings.  At the same time, the situation does have a “silver lining” – several, actually.  This is not mere positive thinking, this is the truth: this is an opportunity for us to gather as a community, and as a family, and think through what we’re doing here, and make sure that everyone is in agreement before we attempt this again (including the city planning department).  Life here has been stressful lately, it’s been a struggle, and I’ve been trying to push things through too long and too hard, trying to get everyone “on the program” as it were.  I am done with that, and it’s a rather freeing realization.  This community does represent my life’s work, in many ways, but it needs more agreement if it’s going to work (and I need to slow down and take other people’s opinion into account).

Thirdly… this may seem strange to say, but I will say it.  If you ask if I am upset, I will say YES, of course I am upset, at a certain level.  And yet, at another level, I am not.  There is the aforementioned “silver lining” for one.  There is also the fact that we are all Ok today – one day at a time, and I feel that this is a great testimonial to the resilience of the human spirit.  If we can survive this, we can survive anything.  But at a deeper level – a level of ultimate spiritual reality – there is a dimension of who I am, for better or for worse, that to me this is all the “play of consciousness” (this is the title of Muktananda’s autobiography).  All of this is for my growth, and serving me in more ways than I can even be aware of.  As I get older, I feel more and more surrendered to “what is so”, and grateful for the opportunity of learning more about myself and other people, and creating deeper connections, in the conversation that has ensued.  To me, this is what life is about – connections between people – everything else is just “fluff”.  “Love bears all things” [Corinthians 13:7]