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Love, Sex and Power unveiled (first time)

I have some big news — actually two big news.

First big news is that I moved to Thailand 6 weeks ago to do the “digital nomad” thing.  Specifically I am here to continue developing the WordPress training business and to finish my book, which is called Love, Sex and Power: Creating Deep Partnership between Men and Women (“LSP”). Man/Woman relationships and the nature of human loving has been my lifetime passion and obsession.

Second big news is that after 8 months of developing and “street-testing” of the LSP model, I am ready to publish the “executive summary” which is below.

Warning: this is quite personal, so if you are not interested in open and frank conversations of relationships and sexuality, you should stop reading now or else unsubscribe.  I lay it out here because it’s my next major platform, and this is my entrepreneur blog after all.  It is a wonderful thing when one’s personal interests and passion and one’s business can coincide.  To note that LSP is still a hobby for me and that it will take some time to mature. But what I have below is a very good beginning.

Love, Sex and Power unveiled

LSP is my half-finished book. It’s a relationship and communication model designed to create attraction and deeper states of love, connection, and transformational intimacy between men and women. The core of it was written earlier this year, over the course of two ecstatic months. As already mentioned, I am here in Thailand in part to test the model and finish the book. It was originally written as a seduction system, but it is evolving into a full human developmental system based on men’s service  and devotion to women, which I believe is a legitimate and potentially very effective path to happiness and success (these being the feminine and masculine goals within the model).  It is very exciting to me to see how it’s evolving.

What I am going to give here is the “50,000 foot view” of LSP along with first test reports. Obviously I can’t condense a 100 page book into a few paragraphs, but hopefully you will get some good actionable nuggets here.  When the book is published next year  I will tell you how to get it for free on Kindle, so please stay tuned to this list (or subscribe if you are not already).

LSP is an integration of relationship models from Victor Baranco, especially the notion of “call / response” (“Women call, men respond”); Jerry Jud and his Skills and Principles of Loving; and David Deida on sexual polarity and spiritual sexuality. These systems actually fit together beautifully.  I think I may be the first to have done so.

Let me cut to the chase and give the basic idea: I can choose a woman — any woman — and, if she consents, transform both of us (move us both along the karmic or developmental path) through my love.  This is a bold claim.

“Loving” has a specific meaning here, it is an active form of loving as Jerry Jud describes, and it may also involve acts of service. It also requires an understanding of sexual polarity as described by Deida, which is that masculine and feminine people have different needs and therefore need to be loved differently. The idea is quite simple — in fact all these ideas are quite simple — and it’s that the fundamental feminine hunger is for attention and appreciation. Feminine people want to know that that they are attractive (and not just physically), loved, and lovable.  They also, of course, want to love deeply — but all humans want that, “More than anything else we want to love and be loved” [Jerry Jud].  The need to love and to be loved is not specific to feminine people, it is merely the  specific form or means of delivery of that love that is different.  “Love is a response to need” [Jerry Jud], but masculine and feminine needs are different.  The desire to love and be loved is also (equivalently) expressed by Marshall Rosenberg in Non-Violent Communication (NVC) as the need to “contribute to life”.   One of the fundamental ideas of LSP is the same as in NVC,  which is that we are all of us traveling through life with a compelling driving purpose, conscious or unconscious: to contribute to other people.  NVC is also perfectly compatible, and also complementary, to LSP.  In fact I believe that LSP brings another important distinction to NVC.

Along these same lines, note that all people, men and women, typically respond well to genuine attention and sincere appreciation; it’s just that feminine people respond to it disproportionately.. meaning they will likely feel deeply seen, nurtured and cared for. Indeed it is one of the tests of a feminine person, is how he or she responds to a sincere appreciation or compliment.   You also need to understand that within this model, which is also Deida’s, sexual polarity is a preference or choice in the moment and hence not determined only by gender. Men can be feminine and women can be masculine.  Even so, most of us have a preferred polarity that we occupy most of the time. Again, 50,000 foot view.

In terms of “acts of service”, you give whatever you have to give. I am an internet marketing expert and hence I help women with their websites and web marketing efforts. My services here have been quite popular ;) . I think it would work equally well if you are a handyman, health or nutrition or real estate expert, or if you would like to drive her around places and pick up her laundry :) . These acts of service must be provided “within your value system” as Jerry Jud describes, I don’t have space to get into this now. The practice is simple in concept but infinitely complex and varied in execution, and potentially quite entertaining. It also requires really good communication and complete honesty, transparency and vulnerability.  It requires an appreciation and constant vigilance around our narcissism, which is our inherent human tendency to over-value our own viewpoints and  contributions and under-value the viewpoints and contributions of others.   Loving well is a lifetime of work [Jerry Jud and Scott Peck]

Now something very important here — something I just really got very recently. The result of this practice may or may not be a sexual relationship. But it doesn’t matter, because if you love somebody well, the outcome is always good.

These days I practice LSP with every woman I meet. I have had three full-on partners so far, of which two here in Thailand in the last 6 weeks (‘full on” means I formally make them an offer of service and devotion). Only one of the three has been sexual, but all have been sweet, deep, powerful, transformational relationships — even in the space of a week (I am still in accelerated time here remember, the “transformational energy vortex”, and as per Jerry Jud “love is not time-bound”).

My last partner has even healed me sexually, and this was a huge event. What I learned from her was that I don’t need a woman (sexual partner) if I can just be of service to women. This insight has utterly transformed me and also taken away any sexual obsessive thoughts I have been having since arriving here. It’s a miracle, actually.

You see, I want a woman of my own, one that I would be in love with and have a deep transformational partnership / collaboration with. In some ways I want it more than anything else in the world right now. But I don’t necessarily need it immediately — I just need to know that I am on the path. I am on the path towards becoming an attractive man, and the outcome is now assured. LSP actually works, this can no longer be doubted.

And maybe I can even help other people. So many are hopelessly confused, and hurting, in relation to the opposite sex. Honestly I find people’s lack of education on these topics, the communication failures, and the resulting traumas we inflict on each other, horrific. Part of this is inherent to human development and unavoidable — we must sometimes be “wounded in our understanding of love” [Kahlil Gibran].  Some of this is cultural, particularly in North America, “the loneliest country in the world” [Mother Theresa] — I won’t get into that now.  But many of these problems are just caused by lack of education.

But by any measure, this is a glorious result, a major milestone both for me personally and in the development of the platform that I intend to dedicate the rest of my life to. I can’t describe to you my state.

And with this triumph, the writing and further development of LSP is now at full-stop (pause) except for further (delightful) “street testing”.  The first phase of my journey here is complete (in 6 weeks!). I now need to calm down, get into a simple yoga and healthy lifestyle practice, and drive some business (income). Indeed that needs to be my primary focus through early December, when I have other very exciting plans that I will share later.

Please comment to the blog!

PS: if you want even more down-and-dirty and personal accounts of my developmental journey here, you can subscribe to my personal blog.

Human Super-Powers: Manifesto for a New Social Order

superman[Draft Version 2013/01/28]

[Practical elements of the platform listed below consist of:

Some of you know that I am currently living in a commune near Asheville NC… and that I have been living communally for about 10 years now.  Living in community is challenging at best, frequently blissful, and sometimes hell – but this is now my life.  Having “drunk the cool-aid” there is no turning back for me now.

Today is the first time, however, that I am able to clearly articulate why.  I am calling this: Read more >>

Getting to “Game Over” (Part 2)

kindle“Game Over” in internet-marketing parlance is a term coined by blogger (and now successful entrepreneur) Clay Collins.  The term makes me smile for its simplicity and directness (Do entrepreneurs ever get to “game over”?  How dull would that be – isn’t the joy of the chase what we live for?).

And yet it communicates.  Let’s face it, this is what we are about.  Whether we want the real thing (financial independence) or whether we simply want to claim the bragging rights, is an open question.  I suspect that most of us really just want to make a difference and to be seen and acknowledged.

When I had my first big month on the web – oh, back in the Summer of 2011, I made $10k in one month – I wrote a piece with that title.  You can find it in this blog archive, but today I am a bit embarrassed to even read it.  I have had a few successes since that time, this is true; but many more painful lessons.  The Summer of 2011 was definitely not  “Game Over” for Marc Beneteau and WP Academy.  And now I question whether such a thing even exists.

And yet… WP Academy has arrived (and is here to stay), this can no longer be doubted.  The business has enough income to sustain me (albeit on a modest scale right now), while I am creating from my genius.  I have figured out how to be paid to write technical manuals (which I like “better than sex” – another story) – while simultaneously building business equity and a following… how cool is that.  I am stunned.

It has been a 9-year journey, lived (for the most part) at a financial edge that was not at all comfortable for me (to say the least).  I have had many other experiences and adventures in this time as well, experiences that were very rich and utterly transformational; but my work always pulled me back into the vortex… into a zone (often enough) of struggle and self-doubt.  What is the meaning of an entrepreneur who is not making any money?  You complete that sentence for me.

Is there benefit in looking back at a decade-worth of personal and business “work” in order to both celebrate and mourn it?  I would like to think so.

Yet true perspective only comes with time.

Good judgment comes from experience.

Experience comes from bad judgment”.

– Sufi sage

Business triumphs and challenges

I want to start writing more to this blog, and more personal stuff. After 25 years I am still coming to terms with this crazy lifestyle called “being an entrepreneur”.  Yikes.

imageI spent all of October working intensively on my Magnum Opus, the WordPress Business Encyclopedia.  In just 30 days I have changed my publishing platform  and put my content out to all the major markets – and I do mean pretty well all of them.  I have books on Kindle, Apps on Android, and others in the publishing queue that will be going into iBookstore, Barnes & Noble Nook, and iPad/iOS apps as well.  It has truly been an extraordinary journey,  and indicative of massive changes in the self-publishing landscape.  I mean… here I am, little-old-me running my tiny business from my bedroom, working this crazy dream of creating the ultimate WordPress & Web Technology help manual… and perhaps even succeeding at it…  while pioneering advances in self-publishing and instructional technology (I made the world’s first “help doc” for WordPress, I have one of the first “video ebooks”, I am the first to publish an app from my particular help authoring software, etc.)   It is all quite unbelievable.  And exhilarating.

And then a few days ago, after 30 days of round-the-clock, borderline-manic work – it was all over (at least the first phase, which is the platform).  I had no sales and was wondering: “What the f___?”.   Am I being completely deluded in thinking that this is good – that anybody will actually buy it?

Which self-doubt was not improved by the fact that the upcoming month is looking a bit dry.  I raised $7000 in August/September from crowd-funding WP Encyclopedia (yes this is “better than a stick in the eye”)… and that money is gone.

But hope springs eternal in the entrepreneur’s breast.  I am banking on a very large JV [Joint Venture list promotion] that is booked later this week (my biggest one since May 2012); and I am hopeful that my idea of permanent crowd-funding will work.  I am not just innovating in instructional technology, I am innovating in business development.  The permanent crowd-funding is my idea too [Ok granted it’s just a sale in disguise but there is a feel-good quality to it that resonates with me.  Whether it will resonate for anyone else is yet unknown]

Just another month in the life of the entrepreneur.

Anyway when this all came down I was feeling seriously sorry for myself for a bit, but I seem to have bounced back [Halleluja].  It’s hard to say what happened exactly, I think I just kind of accepted my destiny, made peace with myself and stopped wishing I had a “real job”.   This project is coming onto four years now and it would just be too stupid to quit right now (possibly right before my greatest triumph).  I just need to move into the next phase, which is 6 months of content development, and hope to stay happy for the time.  And alive.

PS: Update 11/5: I made a few Kindle sales overnight – Yay! – and Google also reporting a few downloads of my free apps, oh happy happy day Winking smile

Join developmentalist Mike Jay and me, 5 Mondays starting tonight (9/9)

Just a quick heads-up that I will be joining my coach and mentor Mike Jay for a 5-week telecourse entitled “Living @FLOW” that begins tonight, Monday 9/9 at 8:30pm.  I would love to see you there.

The course is an experiential lecture/discussion series that explores many issues related to human motivation, happiness, and success.  It is designed to help you navigate the rocky shoals of being human in the 21st century, and presents a re-frame of our “consensus reality” that can be very beneficial to achieving more happiness and success both.  It is an introduction to Mike’s latest thinking on “Living @FLOW”, plus an opportunity to interact with a master coach and developmentalist in person (Each of the live sessions end with a Q&A). Read more >>