This blog is a record of my experiments in consciousness and my research into the theory and practice of Lifestyle Design, as it applies to my own life and to the lives of my coaching clients. This includes, most recently, my experiments with polyphasic sleep (which experiment is ongoing and has been very successful), and my journey as an Integral Evolutionary.
“Lifestyle Design” is a term coined by Timothy Ferriss in his bestselling book The 4-hour work week, and is the art and science of creating your life however you want it, or, of becoming the master of your own destiny. The book is heavily focussed towards optimizing your time (minimizing the time spent working and maximizing the time spent playing) and towards developing passive-income producing, internet-based businesses. My approach is a bit different, which is that money is about 10% of the problem of “Liberation”, and that the pursuit of money for the sake of freedom when you aren’t clear on your mission and your core needs is usually not a good strategic choice (been there, done that 
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In my experience, the problem of personal happiness is usually best solved by focusing less initially on income generation and more on the investigation of human value creation, including the pursuit of pleasure, meaning and contribution as fundamental drivers of human behaviour. This investigation has been variously referred to as “self-actualization” (Maslow), “personality integration” (Jung and others), the acquisition of personal power (Tony Robbins, Shirley Luthman and others), the “hero’s journey” (Joseph Campbell), “healing the spirit/matter split” (Saniel Bonder), and learning how to love and be loved (all major religious traditions, Jerry Jud / Shalom Mountain, the Hendrick’s, and others).
If you relate to these ideas, you may subscribe to updates either via email (on the right) or RSS. If you feel called to pursue a coaching relationship with me, click here. You may check out my other sites as well:
- Trellis House – the intentional community where I live
- Integral Evolutionary – “one man’s journey on the Integral Development and Evolutionary Spirituality scene”
- Adventures in Relationship and Community – how to live a rich and full life while dealing with the challenges of earning a living, raising a family, and getting along with other people
- Polyphasic sleep blog – “one man’s story of a polyphasic sleep adaptation while wrestling with his demons
History of this site
Originally (before the word “Lifestyle design” existed), there was a newsletter that Marc sent to his friends entitled “Marc’s Life and Travels: an intimate newsletter of Marc’s life, travels, relationships, business activities, philosophies and other narcissistic ramblings”. The newsletter has been published continuously since 1997 and in blog form since 2008.
Autobiographical writing is my passion and joy, and the most powerful practice for personal transformation that I have ever experienced. If there is one thing that I have learned through the years, is the importance of finding and living out one’s passion, even in cases where it appears either bizarre or selfish to other people. My particular form of bliss is sharing my most intimate thoughts and feelings all over the internet in long ramblings narcissistic posts. In this style I spent about a year (from September 2008 to October 2009) writing a fairly complete short story of my life while clarifying my message, culminating in My Manifesto (October 2009), and which I have summarized in Autobiographical writings. This process is mostly complete, and I have now turned my attention to business. I write about my life as the exploration of consciousness and of pathways to enhanced states of perception, intuition and joy is what my life is about, and the chief subject of my research right now is myself.
I am 48 years old, married with 2 step-children. I live in a commune (intentional community) near Philadelphia, PA, that I co-founded with my wife in 2007. I work as an internet business development, blogging and social media consultant and internet marketing trainer.
I was mostly unhappy (and sometimes desperately so) until my early 40s, as I was searching for a quality of relationship that I knew must exist, but seemed very elusive and generally beyond my grasp. I spent 25 years looking for this, through various personal development and training programs (such as Landmark Education), community development on my own (networking with compatible people and bringing them together for purposes of fun and growth), and numerous romantic relationships. I was the king of tragic love affairs. I went through much pain in my quest, but I never gave up. At some level, I knew that I must either succeed in my quest or die. I simply was not willing to live an ordinary life.
In 2004 I met my wife Rebekah, was introduced to the teachings of the Lafayette Morehouse and the late Victor Baranco, and I moved in to a Morehouse in Yonkers, NY. The experience of living in the communal environment of Morehouse, and the courses, inspired and fundamentally transformed my relationship with my wife and my world view, leading us both into a kind of agreement, intimacy and enjoyable synergy that neither of us had experienced before in any kind of sexual or romantic partnership. Then followed three hard but exciting years of growth and clarification of our joint vision. In early 2007, this vision became concrete as we purchased our house and founded our commune. Today I live with 10 other people in a radical, ongoing, 24×7 experiment of love-in-action. You can read my article Why I live in a commune for more about this.
As my life vision and my marriage has strenghtened and deepened, as I more and more methodically begin to widen my “circle of caring”, as I speak out about the things that I consider important (chief among which is love), as I continue to explore and research different philosophies and practices for personal growth and transformation, my life has taken on a level of excitement and joy that I could barely have imagined possible. My main goal now, is to give back the great gift that I have received (the gift of happiness) and to share the information and resources that have helped me get there.
As of right now (November 2009) I have not yet succeeded in “cracking the code” for generating a comfortable income in a way that is in alignment with my deepest passion (which is writing and human development). However, I am feeling more and more spaciousness and relaxation around these issues and I have very reliable access to ecstatic states of creative flow, and so I feel that the “Holy Grail” – what Saniel Bonder refers to as “healing the spirit / matter split” and what I refer to as “masculine / feminine integration” is quite close!
Feel free to write to me, or connect on Twitter, Facebook or Linkedin (please mention this blog in your friend request so I know where you’re coming from).
About masculine-feminine polarity
The logo on this site is the traditional Chinese Ying-Yang symbol, that symbolizes the interplay and eternal flow between masculine and feminine forces in the universe. Understanding the relationship between masculine and feminine forces inside an individual, and also in the outside world (”sexual polarity” as described by David Deida) has been one of the most important factors in my own personal development and happiness, and also my lifelong obsession. Here the “masculine” element refers to the aspects that are active, rational, single-pointed (differentiating) consciousness and production-driven, while the “feminine” aspects are receptive, intuitive, diffuse (unifying) consciousness and pleasure-driven. When these forces are working well together the masculine’s goal and primary source of meaning and fulfillment lies in service to the feminine and to its pleasure goals (vitality / aliveness), while the feminine’s goal and primary source of meaning lies in maximizing its own pleasure (vitality) and the vitality of the masculine partner. Each force (or individual) must be continually giving the other feedback and relating to it, and when this is done well the power generated by the interaction is mind-blowing. David Deida says something like (I paraphrase): “men without women tend to be flat, boring and outwardly destructive; women without men tend to be unfocussed, emotionally self-indulgent and self-destructive”. Of course we all have masculine and feminine elements and so we all have to deal at times with these traits (flat and boring, and emotionally self-indulgent). Also, according to this theory, all couples sexually-polarize to a greater or lesser degree and therefore this dynamic is present in gay couples also (and also one’s choice of sexual polarity is not necessarily genetically determined by one’s gender – men can be feminine and women can be masculine, and either one can switch - it’s a preference). These concepts are very controversial and should not be applied blindly, but they are extremely powerful. My teachers in this area include Shirley Gehrke Luthman, David Deida, and Victor Baranco and the Lafayette Morehouse. Shirley Luthman’s amazing book Collection: A continuation of Intimacy was what started me on this path. In “Collection”, Luthman expands on her perceptions of “working from a state of being”: With commitment to our aliveness / pleasure (feminine goal) and a structure built around that (masculine goal in support of the feminine), growth is no longer a struggle. It involves being rather than doing. However, the ability to “be” requires an internal structure that is powerful, resilient, and flexible with the inherent ability to challenge itself constantly. In that process of being, we will enjoy form, take pleasure in it and move with it, but we will be focused beyond it.
